Sweary sweaters

Sweater: Locher’s

Skirt: Society Plus

Shoes: Comfortview

I’ve been crowing about these uh-may-zing sweary sweaters over on Instagram for a while now. I bought three (showing enormous restraint, I can’t even tell you) pretty much the instant I learned of their existence.

Designed and produced by Paris-based Locher’s, these delicately embroidered sweaters and t-shirts look very sweet and lovely, until you read the carefully discreet slogans:

Calm The Fuck Down, suggests one featuring pretty embroidery of Bambi-faced deer. Fuck Shit Up says another under the sweet image of a French bulldog. There’s soft-bellied pussycats (Let’s Pretend I Give a Shit, and Leave It At That) and jaunty bunnies (It’s A Beautiful Day, Now Watch Some Idiot Fuck It Up), sassy cowgirls (I Ain’t Your Fuckin’ Sweetheart), and my personal favourite – a pretty bouquet of flowers that proclaims I’m Mostly ‘Peace And Love’ And A Little Bit ‘Go Fuck Yourself’.

I want the lot, honest.

I’m not quite brave enough to drop the F-bomb in public – not even in embroidery form – so I for my first order I bought two long-sleeved sweaters and a tee-shirt, with a slightly milder expletive.

“I Don’t Need Saving. I’m A Queen. I Got This Shit Handled”

“I Used To Be Sweet And Innocent. Then Shit Happened”

“Let That Shit Go”

And, look, no one’s told me off in public. In fact most people who’ve even noticed seem as tickled as I am. There’s just something wonderfully subversive about combining swear words and needlework, and I for one am here for it. It’s very much in keeping with the whole craftivism, protest knitting thing, and it’s pretty much the best thing ever.

There are non-sweary options as well (The Harry Potter-esque I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good is adorable), and sweary-in-a-foreign-language options (Je M’en Fous, which translates to I don’t give a shit).

Tee: Locher’s

Jacket: City Chic

Skirt: Taking Shape

Tights: Heist (Use the code HEISTLOVESFROCKS for 20% off 2+ pairs)

Boots: Clarks

Unfortunately Locher’s only goes up to a size XL in the sweaters (about an 18) and an XXL in the tees (about a 16), so I just managed to squeeze into their largest size. Check the size chart carefully – in my experience the measurements are spot on, but they have almost no stretch, so if you’re very full at the shoulder or the arms you might have a issue.

The fabric is very soft and fairly thin, but soft and fleecy in the inside. They’re not particularly warm, I’ve got to be honest, but the lack of bulk is actually a selling point for the Very Busty like me. The embroidery (which is beautifully sewn) is backed with a layer of non-stretch cotton so it doesn’t pull out of shape. I’ve just been chucking them into the wash, and they still look and feel like new.

Locher’s is actually having a 30% off flash sale at the moment, and regularly have free worldwide shipping offers. So, what the (fuck) are you waiting for?

(p.s. sorry for all the swearing!)



Shop it to me

So, because my blogging has been so sporadic lately, I’ve been falling into this trap of buying something, wearing it, loving it, then posting about it three months after it’s disappeared from the shops.

It’s Annoying and Bad Blogger Behaviour and I’m trying to Do Better, which is why you’re getting three OOTD’s in one post today.

I’ve been pretty good about being sensible about money lately. Working full-time out of an office has done wonders for my incidental spending, and, as you know, I’ve been doing a lot of sewing instead of shopping; but in the lead up to my 40th (cripes!) birthday I went on a bit of a binge, so I thought I’d share the spoils.

First up is this autumnal dress from – unexpectedly – Country Road.

Dress: Country Road

Shoes: Rockport

It’s been a while since I ventured into Country Road. There’s one quite near my office, so I wander past on a daily basis, but they only go up to a size 16, and these days I have to really really love something to take it into the changeroom and risk being disappointed when the largest size doesn’t fit.

I really really loved this dress, or rather I really really loved the print. It’s all orange and navy and blush and unexpected pops of mustard, and it’s big, bold floral that drew my eye every time I saw it.

With the gathered skirt, and blousy top I thought that there was a slight chance it might be oversized enough to fit, and that worst-case scenario, I might be able to dismantle the dress and fathack the fabric into something new.

Imagine my delight when I realised that gathered waistband was elasticised, as were the cuffs on the balloon sleeves. And imagine how pleased I was when I discovered it had deep, functional pockets. Now try to imagine me not buying it when – against all odds – it actually fit beautifully.

It’s a fairly light rayon/viscose fabric, unlined, which means that while I can wear it now with tights and a long cardigan (or with lots of layers of thermals underneath), it should also do me well right into spring, and hopefully into next autumn as well.

Dress: City Chic Online

Shoes: Rockport

Also new in my wardrobe is this black midi dress that I definitely didn’t need from City Chic. I’m a sucker for sleeved dresses and wide necklines, and this dress is a beauty.

It’s, admittedly, not the only plain black dress to hang in my wardrobe (it’s not even the only midi-length, sleeved, plain black dress with a full skirt to hang in my wardrobe) but at under $100 it’s a steal. There’s a sleeveless version available in City Chic shops right now, but this sleeved version is an online exclusive.

Made from a heavy ponti jersey, it’s a classy, versatile dress with a princess-seamed bodice, and a full skater-style skirt that boasts – you guessed it – pockets. It’s probably just a smidge too long, and the sleeves are baggier than I’d like, but it’s wonderfully elegant and comfortable to boot.

I thought it might make a good oh-god-I-don’t-know-what-to-wear-today dress (which it does) but it also has a notch neckline that’s wired to hold its shape, that gives spectacular cleavage, so watch out for that if you work somewhere a bit conservative.

Last year, I discovered to my horror that not only were clothing moths not a myth cooked up by Big Wood to sell cedar balls, but that somehow I’d managed to be afflicted with them. I lost pretty much my entire knitwear collection in one fell swoop (including all of my cashmere, *cries forever*), and I’ve been gradually trying to rebuild my winter woolies since then.

One thing that I was particularly devastated to lose was a long merino coatigan that I wore almost every day the winter previously. It was perfect for layering over skirts and dresses, as well as jeans and trousers. It was light enough that I could wear it indoors if I was feeling cold, but warm enough that I could wear it as a jacket outdoors as well.

I haven’t had any luck replacing it, but this “coat” from Seed is a worthy successor.

Coat: Seed Heritage

Top: Tirelli

Jeans: Svoboda

Shoes: Rockport

Seed‘s another of those shops I don’t venture into very often. I don’t have kids, and Seed only goes up to a size 14, so I don’t have a lot of excuses to darken their doors, but I’ve recently discovered the joy of triangle scarves, and Seed struck me as somewhere that might have them. They don’t, but they did have this oversized oatmeal coat on sale, and I kinda… love it.

It’s only a wool blend, but it’s unexpectedly warm, and it has the dropped shoulders that I’m super into at the moment, and pockets big enough that I can stash my iPad in them. In no way shape or form is it worth its original price of $339. It’s not even lined, so realistically it’s not really even worth the $174 that I paid for it, but I’ve worn it almost every day since I bought it so it’s definitely earning its keep.

It’s the perfect length for layering, and teamed with skinny jeans it gives a really stylish vibe. I’ve teamed it today with high-waisted denim jeans from Svoboda, who – tragically – are planning to close their virtual doors.

I blogged about Svoboda way, way back in the early days of Frocks and Frou Frou. They were one of the very first premium denim brands designed for the plus-size market, and it’s very sad to hear that their current line will be their last.

These skinny jeans are super comfortable. Svoboda ran a campaign with them with plus-size women doing yoga, and that’s not an exaggeration – I could comfortably do a full sun salutation in these without batting an eyelid. They looked way too small to fit when they arrived, but the fabric stretches beautifully without bagging.

They’re a true skinny without being so thin that you feel like they reveals all those bumps that you’d rather not flaunt. I sized down on Jessica Svoboda’s recommendation, and I’m glad that I did. The fly pulls a little at my tummy, but apart from that these are just wonderful, and I’m definitely going to grab a few more pairs before they disappear forever.